Broken or Lost or Never?

{See?  History does repeat itself.  I'm writing two posts in one day.}


Sometimes I wonder where the best spot is if you can't have something in its full effect.


Is it best to have its resemblance in a broken form?  To acknowledge that what you've got isn't all it's cracked up to be, but at least you've got "it", if only in name?

Is it better to have had it once and have it leave?  So that you can remember how it once was and still believe you could have it again?

Is it best to never have had it at all?  To not understand what it feels like at all, but to live vicariously off of others?

Would one be better off left cynical and wondering if it would be better not to have it at all?

Would one feel best wallowing in the past with the full strength of memory assaulting you?

Would one be better with the ignorant dreams that frustrate the mind and fill the heart with doubt?

Can it be fixed?

Can it return?

Can it be found?

No one can really ever know, because you can only be in one state, and the grass-is-greener principle keeps most people thinking the other two have it lucky.  At any rate, all three options hurt tremendously.

Again

History repeats itself.  We've got millennia of recorded evidence proving that.

It's a strange phenomenon.  The same old song and dance to a new tune in new shoes.  Everything pans out the way it did before, but the notes sound so different that it doesn't seem that way until you look back.

Even so, the only thing that is constant is change, so one could argue that history never repeats itself, as no two circumstances are ever exactly alike.

Yet I find it so tiresome to look in the mirror and find myself repeated forever.  Even worse is to look through the mirror to the future and see the past repeat in a quaint little pattern again, and again, and again.

Again and again.

Progress

Life is not a straight line.
Our reckoning of time makes a continuous function that is arguably differentiable, but it is certainly not a simple equation.


We only live one moment at a time, and in doing so we can sometimes lose sight of the bigger picture.
When you look at the past couple of hours, not much has been happening.
When you look at the past couple of days there's been quite some fluctuation, but an overall positive trend if you look hard enough.
When you look at the past couple of weeks, there's been a resounding crash.
When you look at the past couple of months, things have been alright.
When you look at the past couple of years, things have been getting better.
When you look at my entire life, things have been going nowhere but up.


Don't let the more immediate negative trends make you believe the entire graph looks that way.