Hope: The Escape

Metaphysical walls are under quite a bit of pressure, and have a tendency to break.

Sometimes this comes in the form of one last blow that shatters the whole things.

Other times the structure erodes and holes appear and grow until there's little left but rubble.

There is a sadness in this, as walls are usually built for protection, and once they are down the outside world can invade at will.

But sometimes the expected army doesn't arrive;  the woods of terror look more like an unthreatening meadow.

And this is hope: that the unnecessary walls would collapse and allow our escape.
That maybe the grass is greener out there.

The Game

Is all too easy to lose.

And that's precisely it.  We're playing one of those crazy games where you learn the rules as you go, but with the time commitment of monopoly double-plus bonanza.
We are winners at heart.  Our spirits are aware of what they are, even if only enough to drive us to win.  But with rules that seem in flux and a piece that seems to move with chance alone, the easiest way to win is not to.  Forget the game exists.  Make up the rules yourself (and hope they're close enough).  Lose intentionally out of spite.
Quit.

It is true that chance, as I take it, does play it's part in our endeavor.  You may choose at forks in the road, but the spinner is not under your control, nor is the road on which you travel.  Things will happen and it may seem like the game has it against you.  Or you may find other players and feel that their only point in the game is to ruin your chance of success.  But the game goes on, all the same.  In truth, the game is all we know.  Winning conditions and the prize therefor is debated constantly, but most realize that it's better to continue playing then attempt to leave and count your score as is.

The game wears on and with no end in sight, no sure goal to shoot for, no strategy immune to the whims of luck, players often find it easiest to let the game take it's course and make only decisions that are necessary.  Easiest.

This game is to be played.  It will not always be enjoyable, and you will make some bad choices, but the cards are in your hand.  You will not know the game, but in playing you may find that you will come to know the truth about player.  Let the world be your mirror and seek for what rules you can.  Most of all, do not despair.  You can live your life off of the assumption that the game is worthless or fake, or you can live it with faith that there is something to it.
Consider not which is worse to be wrong, consider instead which is happier if right.

May the odds ever be in your favor.

Everything I've Ever Wanted

I don't know what it's like for everyone else, but my life is pretty perfect.
Not perfect in the sense that my life is an outlier on the span of reality, nearly breaching heaven in my continual happiness, but in the manner that anything I could realistically want has been given to me.
Or maybe I should phrase it as: Looking back, I've been given most of that I want, and they're not necessarily all good for me, nor likely to all happen in one lifetime.

Proof: (What follows is from fate's imagined perspective)
You want to be intelligent?  Alrighty then.  Let's see here... a father that is brilliant as a role model, who values intellect and will heavily encourage you to learn much; A propensity for academics to further fuel your desire; The internet for endless knowledge at your fingertips, with a good set of books within reach in case you get tired of screens; Enough money to live comfortably and seek further learning without having to stress, and I think that's pretty set.
Athletics?  Are you sure?  Aah, you don't really want to DO athletics, you just want the prestige and health.  We'll work with that.  Let's put you in suburbia, so you can get exposure to a bunch of different sports.  Here's karate, soccer, baseball, and football, and track.  Anything?  No?  How about swimming?  Not that one then.  Cross country?  Ah, we've got something!  No, wait.  Too tired?  That's acceptable.  How about we ease off and just have you dance a bit while we give you theatre.  Welcome to college!  Feeling incompetent again?  What have we got... here's a string of people who like running.  If you ever want to go try that again they'll be there.  Have a dance class.  Whoops.  That didn't go so well.  Maybe some other time.  Why don't we... put you in jiujitsu?  Oh yeah, you're awkward.  SO!  Here's an opportunity to have the president of the club get to know you, and here's a friend in another class to stick with you the whole time.  AND!  Here's a guy you knew briefly before.  We'll set you up with a bit of luck on the first few days... and you're set!  Perfect.  Wait, you're tired again?  Haha, that's alright.  We'll throw something else your way as soon as we get it going.
You want to be a good person?  That's going to be a tough one, I hope you know that.  But it looks like you want it, so here you go.  *WHAP*  Yeah.... sorry, but the fastest and surest way to make sure someone is nice is to instill in them the importance of it.  Which is best done when circumstances are... less than favorable.  Oh, and we have religion right here beside you to give you a plethora of reasons to be good and a bunch of exercises to develop yourself.  This is going to be a little more difficult since you want to be intelligent... because you're prone to be prideful.  We can make this fit.  These trials are going to have to be a little harsher.  Alright good.  I think we've successfully knocked pride out- shoot.  Not yet.  You just flipped.  Alright, here's friends and leaders to bring you back up.  And we're going to throw a lot of instruction regarding a HEALTHY self-esteem to you.  Difficult case.  But I think it's working...  yeah we'll keep the treatment on for a few more years and I think we'll be at a good state to keep moving on.

How about relationships?  What do you want?
We'll start with family.  Ta-da!  You have been placed to complete the structure of a perfectly nuclear family.  One boy, one girl, Mom, and Dad.  And you get to the be the spoiled little one!  Wait... you wanted to be a good person... so we're going to have to tweak this a bit.... there!  Now you have brothers.  Oh stop pouting.  You're going to love them a ton soon.  I promise.  On that note, stop being so mad at your sister.  You two were placed together for a reason you know.
Let's move on to friendships.  *sigh* You chose a hard road, little one.  We're going to have to be super  careful about who you get to hold on to right now, because you're very malleable and we're trying to give you the best shot possible at what you want for yourself.  So you're not going to get much in the way of peers... but you can tag along with your sister sometimes.  Oh alright. Here's a really good friend.  BUT!  You guys can only visit in the summer.  It's not going to be perfect, he's going to help you work out some of your kinks.  I think it's finally time.  You're ready.  Aaaanndd... GUESS WHAT?!  You just got yourself a best friend.  Two actually. You get to keep them for years.  You guys are going to have so much fun.  These guys were picked out specifically for you.  Do you know how difficult it was to get two personalities to mix with each other's and yours just right?  But, it's done.  You're welcome.  And now you want more friends?  That makes sense.  Quantity helps not to feel lonely.  Here's some.  No, you don't get a ton.  You wouldn't want it.  You think I'm wrong?  Okay, here you go.  A group.  And as expected that didn't work.  Here's another group, just to make sure.  And that didn't go well either.  But the best ones stuck around.  Wait a tik, you're best friends with your siblings too?  Told ya it would happen.  Good job.  They'll help out for quite some time.  Especially your sister.  Anyways, back to peers.  You want to be "normal" in terms of girls?  I don't think you do... but alright.  Try this out- and done.  Haha.  That went rather fast.  Maybe try again later.  Still lonely? Alright, here's someone you can share everything with.  Hold up, don't react so strongly.  Hey, hold on.  Wait. Stop.  STO-.  Okay.  You're okay, it's fine.  Just be careful not to go crazy next time.  Here's somebody else.  And it fades.  And another one.  And it fades.  I know it's hard, but that's all we can realistically figure out since you want someone to know everything and once they do you don't want them around anymore without having to go through turmoil.  College time.  Here's a bunch of people to screen through.  No, you don't get to keep any of them, but you get to learn a whole lot.  You feel like you're losing too many people?  Alright, here's a few you get to keep.  You're welcome.  Glad to see you're happy.  You want something more?  The professed "love"?  Alrighty then.  Let's see what we've got. Here. Is.  Everything.  You've got a girl far away who's been chasing you forever.  And one back home who's a bit younger and has had a crush on you forever.  (Sisters always have good information, no?)  Here's a friendship that's grown throughout your college career; she's always been there for you and she's got the most amazing personality.  Here's a spunky girl who's going to confuse the heck out of you.  Oooh, that didn't go so well.  Here's a still spunky but less forward girl for you to crush on; She's particularly special, with her math major, attractiveness, pet gecko, open heart, and similar circumstances to you; Pretty good job with that one yeah?  Just for fun, here's a celebrity crush for you to fan-boy with; Haha, that is too fun, we'll have to keep this one going... how about she teaches a class and you can take it?  Perfect.      What do you mean girls are scary?  Alright.  Here's a girl who friend-zoned you and will openly tell you she had been waiting for you to ask her out.  And she'll help you scheme to get these other girls.  No?  Okay.  We're feeling generous.  Here's a best guy friend.  We'll set it up just right and... instant friendship.  Opposite personalities for attraction and growth for the both of you; good communication to keep you together and further growth.  He's going to give you a glimpse of a life very different from yours.  You guys get to be really really super close.  Oh, not again.  Calvin, it's okay.  This is a good thing.  People are a good thing!  Stop!  We've tried so hard to make this work for you!  But... it seems like it wasn't the right time. You can't handle this, so that means he has to leave.  We'll make it kind.      Keep on it, Calvin.  You get to keep all the girls around.  Don't lose faith, we'll just need to work a bit harder for awhile and we can find you someone.  It's gonna be awesome.  We promise.



This doesn't even account for the insane amount of luck I've had in frivolous things like games.

My life has been set up so well.  Sometimes this drives me to despair because I feel like I'm not even close to worth it, but other times I just enjoy it and marvel at how neatly everything fits together.