Just Be Happy, Kay?!

Sometimes people make it sound so easy.

"Just affirm yourself."
"Just let go of drama."
"Just be healthy."
"Just follow these few steps."
"Just trust God."
"Just love life."
"Just smile."
"Just be happy."

But I just can't.
I'm unstable, and no matter how happy I may be in a single moment, I will likely be distraught within a week. Similarly, no state of despair will keep me from feeling alright in a couple days time.
If you talk to me at the right time, I'll assure you of my great luck and the abundance of happiness I enjoy. But if you choose the wrong time, I'll detail the horrors of my life that are entirely my fault.  So it  annoys me when people act like everyone can be happy if they just try hard enough. If they just learn to respond correctly to the emotions that arise in response to unfavorable situations. Maybe I'm just a wimp and can't handle the responsibility of having to deal with myself.  Or maybe in all honesty the best I can do is to wait it out and try to do as few stupid things as possible.
Life is hard.  Really hard.  Things hurt, and when I get hurt I tend to hurt other people. I wish for millions of things that would supposedly make things better, but I have no guarantee that I'd enjoy them at all.  I'm often tired of everything.  Scared of everything.  I wish I were different, better, stronger, happier, but I'm not.  And if 20 years of experience mean anything, no amount of wishing is going to fix any of those.


*This is my pessimistic response to a post on another blog.  I felt that it would be inappropriate to publicly downplay someone else's happiness and encouragement simply because I'm unhappy.  So it stays here instead.